I remember but I wish I Didn't

A couple days ago reports surfaced that two very popular R&B singers were involved in a domestic abuse situation that left her battered and bruised and him wanted by the cops.

I was sad when I read about it because I'm a fan of both of them and their music.

But reading about what was allegedly done brought back some memories of my own that are better left buried.

If all these reports are true then I remember what it's like to be in her shoes, without thousands and thousands of people watching. It makes me feel sad for her because I can only imagine how much worse she feels with so many interested and intrusive viewers wanting to know and see it all.

I remember what it was like to walk out in public with bruises and cuts and having people I didn't know stare. I remember how badly I wanted to run and hide and not crawl out again until the physical reminders were gone and even then I didn't want to face anyone because I didn't really want to believe it happened.

I remember the feeling of helplessness and utter fear. The heartache and betrayal. The confusion of loving the person who was so mean and hurtful and wishing, more than anything, that I could hate him but I couldn't. Worse than all that, was seeing the pain and fear in the faces of those I love the most. My parents and my friends who so awesomely rallied around me and fought back tears of their own so I wouldn't see how much they hurt for me.

I'm not sure why reading about two celebrities that I do not know would make me remember so much but it did and I feel bad for her. I wish her the best of luck, whichever path she travels and I hope she overcomes this pain.